“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken,” Oscar Wilde once said. This is an easy thing to write, but tough to put into practice. Alex Mathew, a 28-year-old who identifies as queer and takes to the stage as one of India’s few drag artists, is one such person who had the confidence to be himself and be confident about it.
One can be changed according to the things that happen in life, but no one should be reduced by it. Not one to hide his zest for life and passion, Alex began performing as a drag queen in September 2014 and came out of the closet a month later.
“My initial dream was to perform on Broadway. I wanted to get there somehow. So I took part in various theatre plays and sang in karaoke bars,” says Alex. Inspite of his initial forays in the world of performing arts, he didn’t feel the adrenaline rush. It felt like something was missing. When he auditioned for plays, his thick Malayali accent was pointed out as a flaw. “People at the auditions would say, ‘Darling, if I get to work with you for 6 months, I can get it crisper.’ Everybody saw it as a weakness,” says Alex.
Despite this, Alex’s voice and singing abilities were appreciated. Unfortunately, this also turned out to be a disadvantage as directors used to sideline him to the choir.
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“That’s when I decided I should sit down and think about what I wanted to do and create an out-of-the-box experience for myself,” Alex says. It was while watching the old-time favourite
Mrs. Doubtfire that the idea struck him. “I saw Robin Williams in drag. And I thought to myself, if he can do drag, so can I!”
The tiny spark soon developed into a raging fire. Alex began researching other people who had experimented with drag: Kamal Hassan in
Chachi 420 and
Avvai Shanmughi. He sought inspiration from drag queens around the world such as RuPaul in the US, and Dame Edna from Australia. Not long after, his stage persona – Mayamma – was born.
Alex first discovered drag as performance art at a fancy dress competition in Class 12, and rediscovered it when he was 25. His favourite drag movies include Hedwig and The Angry Inch, The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of The Desert, Hairspray and Birdcage.
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But things weren’t always easy for the artist. Alex comes from an orthodox Christian family in Kerala who were initially against his choice of profession.
“After my first drag performance, my mother told me not to perform again. I became a rebel and came away. We didn’t keep in touch and it took about one and half years for us to realize that we were hurting each other. They moved to Bangalore shortly after that,” he says.
True to the actor in him, Alex created an interesting background story for the character of Mayamma. Born into a fisherman’s family, Mayamma means ‘the mother of illusion’ or ‘mother of magic’. Her father named her after he came home with a big catch of fish the day she was born, considering her to be lucky. However, her father was a drunkard who beat his wife. He would ask his wife to sell the fish he caught and then use the money for himself. Mayamma silently watched the abuse for years. On the bright side, she grew up to be a performer and that’s when she met her lover – Anandaraja from Pudukottai, Tamil Nadu. It was he who inspired her to leave home and go to places like Bengaluru where she could get the opportunity to perform more. Meanwhile, her parents told her of a marriage alliance from the fisherman community. Since she was in love, she refused and told them about Anadaraja. Her father became furious. He took to the bottle and blamed his wife for Mayamma’s words. He began beating her. Maya, unable to watch her mother suffer anymore, took a coconut branch and hit her father with it. He fell unconscious and began bleeding.
Her mother gave Mayamma all the money she had, telling her to go to Bangalore, follow her dreams and never return. That’s just what she did, and has since married her love and taken to the stage.
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When questioned about the elaborate backstory he created, Alex says, “I wanted people to connect to it. In my life, I’ve seen women abused. I wanted to write a background story where women could relate to it as well as the LGBT community who undergo a lot of abuse too. The intention is to make people relate to Maya well as a character.”
His inspiration for creating a woman like Mayamma is his mother, Renu Mathew. In the past, she has helped many abused women leave situations of domestic abuse. “Whenever I saw my mother, I saw her as a superwoman. I wanted Mayamma to be a superwoman too,” shares Alex. He wanted Maya to be from Kerala, like he was, and portray her as a woman of substance. “I wanted her to be simple, yet outspoken, dainty but fierce, and classy, a woman who stood up for individualism, gender equality, feminism – themes which run strongly through my performances,” he adds. As far as labels go, Alex sees himself as a performance-based activist.
His drag shows include an eclectic mix of songs like Madonna’s Vogue, Lady Gaga’s Born This Way and Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody, all re-interpreted to suit the context. The underlying message is to believe in yourself and not be discouraged over what others tell you.
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Through his performances, Alex wants to clear up misconceptions about performing drag. “Cinema portrays guys playing women as comical. I don’t portray that, but show Mayamma as a woman, a drag queen, and not a caricature,” he says. The biggest misconception people harbor about drag is that it is an art performed only by those from the LGBT community. “It’s completely false! Queen Harish, one of India’s well-known drag queens, is straight and married with kids. He is comfortable enough with his sexuality to be a drag queen. It should be understood that drag and sexuality are two completely different things.”
Alex has faced many ups and downs in his journey. There have been instances where people thought he was transgender simply because he was a drag queen. After one of his performances, a female researcher came up to him and said that drag should be integrated into the
hijra community since there were many similarities. “I was mortified.
Hijra is a culture or community while drag is a performance art,” he says. Similarly, photographers, fascinated by his profession, have approached him with propositions of working with him, but refused to offer any pay.
“They tell me I would be doing it for the LGBT community and that they wouldn’t pay me. Make-up, wigs, saris, heels -- they cost a lot nowadays,” Alex says.
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This doesn’t mean he undermines the impact he has as an inspiration. His message to aspiring drag artists and the LGBT community is to strongly love oneself and believe in oneself. “Be bold and unique about whatever you want to do. Become independent and get a job. It is like what RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love somebody else?” To tackle the stigma surrounding the LGBT community Alex feels it is important for people within the community and outside it to speak up. The media projects a contorted image of being a gay person, something one needs to stand up and say no to. “It’s not okay to say I respect gay relationships, and then go make fun of it,” says Alex.
He is happy in the space he is in at present. His future plans include doing more videos, and working on making Mayamma mainstream and popular throughout India. “I need to put her out more as a character. In 2018, I think I want to go international. Next year I would like have to a talk-show about it called ‘Chai with Maya’,” concludes Alex.
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2. H.E. José Ramos-Horta, as the President of East Timor, launched a project that provided housing for the poor. Having only limited budget, he went to the poorest of the neighbourhoods and spoke to the residents directly. He asked them not only to choose the families that they thought deserved these homes the most but also to find the land on which the houses would be built on.
3. Given the highly sensitive nature of his work, Kailash Satyarthi has faced immense resistance from the syndicates that benefit from child labour and has even been physically assaulted a number of times resulting in broken bones and other serious injuries.
4. H.E. José Ramos-Horta believes that while he may not be able to help everybody, he will do what he can to help at least one person. He recounts an incident several years ago when he tracked down an impoverished girl living in Afghanistan after watching her interview on BBC.
5. Kailash Sathyarthi notes that the key to addressing economic exclusion lies in education and the biggest impediment to this is child labour. He reasons that illiterate people will remain poor and the poor people will remain illiterate.
Watch the discussion here:
As a society, we are passionate about issues like climate change, gender equality, and net neutrality. Hence, advocacy is the need of the hour. In order to solve these issues, we need mass citizen-powered movements to match them. Historically, on-ground activists have led the charge, where hundreds and thousands have protested on river dams, in front of historical sites, and outside government offices.
But we know that not everyone can show up on the streets to protests or directly lobby the government—not everyone sees themselves as an activist, or even an agent for change.
Working parents, students in school, and the elderly with mobility issues are all examples of people needed in movements for social change. That’s why it is important for us to meet people where they are, speaking to their issues and interests, using language that resonates with them, via the media that they’re using.
The advantages of actions through mobiles are manifold. In this linguistically diverse nation, mobiles can reach out to people speaking different languages. Mobile campaigning also removes the barrier of distance. If you’re in the southern part of the country, you can still be a part of a movement in the north by just taking an action on your mobile phone.
It has not been easy for Uday to write or speak about the incident. He lost his son in the fire, after all. But he does gather the courage to speak up -- for a larger objective. The fact is that a few simple precautions could have prevented toxic fumes from spreading to all the floors and would have led to the safe evacuation of occupants.
One of the first steps taken by Beyond Carlton a few months after the accident, was to file a public interest litigation (PIL) petition with the Karnataka High Court with respect to fire safety standards in the state with specific reference to violations by builders, sanctioning authorities and residents. The PIL also sought empowerment of the Fire Department to inspect and issue notices in case violations were found.
The direct outcome of this petition was that the High Court issued directions to the State Government to notify the fire safety measures that are to be taken up by builders and residents, under Section 13 of the Karnataka Fire Safety Act 1964. The notification was issued on July 7, 2011 – less than a year and a half post the fatal fire accident at Carlton Towers. These measures were to be based on the action plan submitted by the Fire and Emergency Services and the Bruhat Bangalore Mahanagara Palike (BBMP). The aforementioned Section empowers the Government to issue directions to authorities in relation to preventive measures.
Since then this citizen’s initiative has been working tirelessly in the area of spreading fire safety awareness. Sharing their work and findings through blogs and social media channels and creating India’s first fire safety community on their website is another way to reach out and spread information. They have been actively collaborating with schools, work spaces and resident welfare associations to conduct training and seminars relevant to fire safety. Speaking out at seminars and conferences, Uday and his team has been doing their best to make citizens more aware.
They have also launched India’s first fire safety app in collaboration with an NGO named Janaagraha and Karnataka Fire Department.
And it is here that they seek the help of the common man. This season of giving, Beyond Carlton launched a campaign to seek stories from fire accident survivors. These stories of grit and determination, positive lessons and learnings will help others to know how exactly to face a fire accident and emerge triumphant.
We seek those among you who are fire survivors or know someone who is one to reach out and email us at 
“That’s when I decided I should sit down and think about what I wanted to do and create an out-of-the-box experience for myself,” Alex says. It was while watching the old-time favourite Mrs. Doubtfire that the idea struck him. “I saw Robin Williams in drag. And I thought to myself, if he can do drag, so can I!”
The tiny spark soon developed into a raging fire. Alex began researching other people who had experimented with drag: Kamal Hassan in Chachi 420 and Avvai Shanmughi. He sought inspiration from drag queens around the world such as RuPaul in the US, and Dame Edna from Australia. Not long after, his stage persona – Mayamma – was born.
But things weren’t always easy for the artist. Alex comes from an orthodox Christian family in Kerala who were initially against his choice of profession.
When questioned about the elaborate backstory he created, Alex says, “I wanted people to connect to it. In my life, I’ve seen women abused. I wanted to write a background story where women could relate to it as well as the LGBT community who undergo a lot of abuse too. The intention is to make people relate to Maya well as a character.”
His inspiration for creating a woman like Mayamma is his mother, Renu Mathew. In the past, she has helped many abused women leave situations of domestic abuse. “Whenever I saw my mother, I saw her as a superwoman. I wanted Mayamma to be a superwoman too,” shares Alex. He wanted Maya to be from Kerala, like he was, and portray her as a woman of substance. “I wanted her to be simple, yet outspoken, dainty but fierce, and classy, a woman who stood up for individualism, gender equality, feminism – themes which run strongly through my performances,” he adds. As far as labels go, Alex sees himself as a performance-based activist.
![p2 alex maya shoot (116) [Desktop Resolution]](http://www.thebetterindia.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/p2-alex-maya-shoot-116-Desktop-Resolution.jpg)
This doesn’t mean he undermines the impact he has as an inspiration. His message to aspiring drag artists and the LGBT community is to strongly love oneself and believe in oneself. “Be bold and unique about whatever you want to do. Become independent and get a job. It is like what RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how the hell can you love somebody else?” To tackle the stigma surrounding the LGBT community Alex feels it is important for people within the community and outside it to speak up. The media projects a contorted image of being a gay person, something one needs to stand up and say no to. “It’s not okay to say I respect gay relationships, and then go make fun of it,” says Alex.
He is happy in the space he is in at present. His future plans include doing more videos, and working on making Mayamma mainstream and popular throughout India. “I need to put her out more as a character. In 2018, I think I want to go international. Next year I would like have to a talk-show about it called ‘Chai with Maya’,” concludes Alex.
“When I got the invitation on January 1, I was pleasantly surprised. This would be my chance to share with the world the beauty behind the transgender movement in India. I will be talking about this historical movement that also has a strong spiritual context. I will be providing a global context as well and putting the spotlight on how the Indian movement differs from the Western scenario,” she says. This is, as Kalki herself puts it, a chance to put a voice to a community that is often marginalised and invisible to the larger society.
Kalki’s 
“The school was started by my good friend Vijayaraja Mallika and it is a school for adult transgender people who have dropped out but want to finish their education. It also provides vocational training and the faculty are also transgender folks. Right now the school has 6-10 students but there is room for more to come and hopefully they will. It was education that gave me the confidence to take on life. It is through education one can empower this community,” she says.
And it is education that has helped Kalki be outspoken about the need for Indian states to do more in terms of ensuring basic rights for the trans community. “In 2015, the Supreme Court of India legally recognised the trans community. And yet, majority of states in the country have not done anything to even acknowledge it. Hence the immediate goal is to ensure that happens. We need reservations for trans people. There need to be practical measures to ensure housing, medical aid, and employment. Right now states like Tamil Nadu, Kerala, West Bengal and Chhattisgarh can be seen as role models and more states can follow their lead.”
Malini explains how she went from loving her job at an MNC to tackling social issues, “I am an accidental activist, and since earning a living was a necessity, I became a social entrepreneur too. Garbage just happened to me! I had been working as a volunteer in the space, and felt very strongly that there was a problem that needed to be solved. In the process, I also wanted to create flexible employment for women. It wasn’t a decision taken in a day.”
Responsible waste management is a job for many hands, and Malini’s family exemplifies that. Her mother and children help her with her volunteer work, she says, “We are all involved in composting and growing our food at home. It has also given me more time for my family and volunteer work. I still continue to spend 70 % of my time volunteering around waste.”
Malini adopted both her daughters, and when asked about life as a single parent, says, “I’m not a single parent. My kids have me – their parent – and then my mom, their grandparent. To each their own choices. Either way, you need a village to help you.”
Her journey has been characterised by wonderful people. Friends and family have supported her professionally and personally, “You need a village to raise a child, and I have tons of family and friends who have been part of my village. My mom now stays with me, while my sister stayed for a year after I brought the kids home. Once I had a pal host my kids for three days while I was out-of-station.”
He life has changed dramatically with the addition of her kids, and she says, “My life has changed like crazy! As a single person, I was OK with drive-through and TV dinners all the time. Now I have learnt about food and nutrition. In general, my life has changed dramatically, but I’m enjoying every moment of it. My ex-life was super fun, and this one is too. It’s just that what I consider fun and what gives me joy has changed.”
Prior to her success with Stonesoup.in, Malini was involved with another venture that was close to her heart.
Malini Parmar and other members of the group[/caption]
Stonesoup.in was the brainchild of Malini and a few of her friends who shared her passion for waste management. She reminisces, “A few of us Trash Talkers at Kasa Muktha Bellandur decided to come together and launch this company. All of us who started it, and those who joined us subsequently, are united by our desire to change India’s waste footprint, and have a common value system of a fair and sustainable way of working.”
Solving a problem this size is not a one-woman effort, and she says, “We are more like collaborative work groups trying to solve a problem. Our first project was ‘Green Events’, which we then converted into shared wisdom and put on 
The journey has been far from easy for the 32-year-old who did not share about her new identity with her family in the beginning as, she knew they would not accept it. “They aren’t aware of such things and we live in such a conservative society that we do not even talk about sexual behaviour and feelings,” says Anjali who got silicone breast implants in 2010 in Bangkok.
"The only reason I came to Mumbai was for Lakme Fashion Week and try for modelling. I had tried for LFW earlier as well, but wasn’t selected. This time I thought of going for the audition one last time - it was like a do-or-die thing because I had left my job in Nepal before moving," says Anjali who gave her best and finally got selected.
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Weddings in rural India are becoming bigger and more lavish. Photo Source: